Marauders Mag!
by Eternal Devil Dog
Summary: A 'Magazine' created by the one... the only... MARAUDERS! ::Is hit by James:: Er... and Lily.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters, or the series, etc, etc. If I did, I wouldn't be writing here. I'd be in Disney Land. Also, some of the questions are made by one of my friends, who's name on this site I have forgotten. Just thought I'd give them credit too._

**Author's Note: **The different characters each have a different font. SO... **Sirius is bold. **_Remus is Italics. **James is bold italics. **And Lily is Italic Underline_. (Yes, Lily IS going to be part of this. ;) )

_**Marauders Mag**_

**Welcome to the Marauders Mag! Where the Marauders talk, and YOU LISTEN::Evil Laugh:**

_I'm sure they feel _so_ reassured by your speaking, Padfoot. :Rolls eyes:_

'**Course they do, Moony! 'Course they do! Why wouldn't they, eh?**

_:Rolls eyes dramatically: I thought you knew of sarcasm._

_**Never count on him to know of sarcasm, Moony. He changes often... Always insane though::Grins:**_

_He really scares me sometimes..._

**Lily? Oi James! I thought I told you not to pull your wife along!**

_:Glares:_

**Er... but... we don't mind at all! Sit down Lily::Nervous laughter:**

_:Triumphant grin: Thank you Sirius._

**:Mutters of disapproval:**

_**So... why are we here again?**_

**THE MAG. HEL-LO!**

_**:Blink blink:**_

_Well... we need to do this then... What's it about, Black?_

**Evans, please, just stick with one name... I shall call you Evans and that is that. I'd prefer not to be called three different names by the same person. Makes me feel confused. **

_Er... I feel a little left out here... So, anyways, this magazine is about answering some of the stuff sent to us! And hopefully getting our sanity back... _

**What was that, Moony?**

_Nothing... So... who has the first question::Looks around:_

**MAIL CALL::Runs around:**

_**Okay... **_

_Er... Just read the letter, Black._

**:Clears throat: Ahem. "Yarr, I be a pirate."**

_**Very interesting... So, the letter?**_

**That _was_ the letter... wait... "PS: Say hello to Ickle Jamiekins."**

_**You totally added that yourself, Padfoot.**_

**YARR! WHO IS THIS PADFOOT THAT YOU SPEAK OF? I AM CAPTAIN DOGGY-BEARD!**

_Doggy-Beard? Oh save me..._

_I swear..._

_**:Snorts: Very interesting Doggy beard.**_

**Yar! To the next letter! Clears throat again "It's two o'clock in the morning, my socks are blue. It's forty degrees and a pineapple and muffin are in a fight! If 2+27... WHY WOULD A MOUSE BEFRIEND MY BIG TOE?"**

_**That sounds extremely disturbing.**_

_Er... Do we _have_ to answer?_

_**It is our duty. So... why would a mouse befriend a big toe...**_

_When did 2+27?_

_**Maybe it's an alternate universe? So... I guess a mouse would befriend a big toe because it looked like... A piece of bread.**_

_Way to be as weird as the person who asked, James._

**Yeah, Jimmy.**

_**JIMMY?**_

**:Grin: Now, don't argue back Jim-Jim, or you won't get your pudding.**

_**:Eye twitch: I hate you, Padfoot.**_

**Feeling the love, aren't we?**

_Of _course_ we are... Next._

_:Eyebrow raise:_

_**I'm getting this one. :Ahem: Moony, letter? Good... Now... let's see... "Duck." Um...?**_

_James, it might–_

_**DUCK? What the hell?**_

**Prongs, mate... you should–**

_**DUCK! I want nothing to do with the silly– :Is hit by a flying cream pie:**_

_You were told to duck, Prongs. :Grins:_

_**:Fumes:**_

_Lovely... I love letters that involve cream pies being thrown at my husband. :Eye roll:_

**Here, we are not... er... :Whispers: 21! We are... I vote eighteen. What do you guys think?**

_**Three years is "such" a big difference...**_

**:Grins: I know. So. Eighteen it is. Out of school. Yay! Okay! Now! I want the next letter! "Papayas are not picture frames..." So true... :Sniffs: Such wisdom...**

_**Okay... **_

_Well, it _is_ actually true... I want to read the next one. :Clears throat: "Can any of you swing dance?"_

_**What's swing dancing again?**_

**Let's skip that one!**

_Unfair! I had to read out a lousy question! I want another one!_

**Fine, go on Moony.**

_Thank you. :Dramatic bow: "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"_

**Wood chuck's can't chuck wood? I thought wood chucks could chuck would like a wood chuck would.**

_**Well, if a wood chuck can't chuck wood then it wouldn't be a wood chucking wood chuck chuck.**_

**Woody could chuck wood like a real wood chuck. He chucked wood like a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood like a wood chuck.**

_This is getting out of control... ENOUGH WITH THE WOODCHUCKS!_

**No need to get at our throats, Evans. NEXT::Pets Woody: Don't worry about not being able to chuck wood like a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood...**

_I thought Woody could chuck wood..._

**Good point.**

_Can I do the next question?_

_**Starting to come along... Sure Lily.**_

**TIME'S UP! You can answer the first one next time, Evans!**

_:Glares at Sirius: I really hate you at the moment._

_Don't even think of saying–_

**FEELING THE LOVE, EVANS! Okay... "So--"**

_:Glares:_

**Oh, yeah... Time's up folks! CHUCK WOOD LIKE A WOOD CHUCK SHOULD! Aloha, Sirius and the gang!**

'_And the gang'? I think not. _

**Too late! G'BYE FROM SIRIUS AND HIS GANG WHERE HE IS THE MOST POPULAR!**

_:Glares:_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer:_ **_I do not own any of these characters... J.K. Rowling does. If I did, I would be in Disney Land. :Grins: Also, credit to 'Dustytail' apparently. And Norwegianchick101. :Grins again:_

**Author's Note: In her review, Norwegianchick101 gave me a fantastic idea; To take questions in reviews. Yay. Just, now that I've said this, I probably won't get any reviews. Hate how that works. ;) So. Sirius is in bold. **_Remus is in Italics. **James is in bold italics. **And Lily is in Italic underlined. _**Now! To the story!**

_**Marauders Mag... 2:**_

**Welcome all to the Marauders Mag, where we talk... AND YOU LISTEN TO CAPTAIN DOGGY-BEARD!**

_He's going to do this every time now, isn't he?_

_**Definitely wouldn't doubt him of it. That one is insane.**_

**I heard that Prongs. :Frowns:**

_I think it's completely true. Now, instead of wasting our time blabbing about nothing like last time, let's actually answer these questions._

**I think we answered some great questions last time. Woody loves to be included. The whole woodchuck thing gave him a chance. :Grins:**

_You will not start that again, Black._

'**Course not. Now... To the questions! MAIL CALL::Turns into an animagus and chases tail:**

_:Rolls eyes and takes letter::Ahem: "Lily, would you mind if I stole your husband from you? But you don't really need to answer that, cuz I'm gonna do it anyways!"_

**Looks like you're popular again, Jimmy, even with a wife.**

_**:Fumes: MY NAME IS NOT JIMMY.**_

**But it sounds so cute. So don't argue, Jim-Jim.**

_I say the person is lying... :Sigh: _

_**:Ahem: I shall handle this::Flies around like a super hero: **_

**Look! Up in the sky! IT'S THE JIM-JIM SIGNAL! Jimmy to the rescue!**

_**I am going to kill you, Padfoot. I really am. **_

**Captain Doggy-Beard. :Hint hint:**

_Excuse me for ruining your little game of make-believe, but we're posting in a magazine, someone wants to steal James, and you are being a super hero._

**You're right Evans. Jimmy is a Super ZERO. He should have his powers taken away. :Large grin:**

_**Well, I was being a super hero for a reason, Lily. :Grin: Wait... aren't we eighteen?**_

**Definitely.**

_**Another three years to wait. :Sigh: And someone after me in the process. I feel so special.**_

**This happens to me everyday::Gloat-ish grin:**

_Are you married?_

**Nope. Is that a problem?**

_Doesn't matter. So... I think hiring twenty-four hour protection with be good, James._

_**Sure, whatever. Just as long as cream pies aren't protecting me...**_

**Are you kidding James? No cream pies have ever succeeded in passing the body-guard courses! I suggest an army of ants...**

_Right... I vote going onto the next question. Now, who agrees?_

_**:Puts hand up:**_

_:Puts hand up:_

**That poor person in the letter must be feeling so depressed. You should be ashamed of yourselves::Sniffle: **

_Don't get into the papaya thing again._

**Papaya's are not picture frames! It's just too true! Have you ever tried to eat a picture frame? It's mighty tough.**

_**Are you meaning to tell me you took a bit out of a picture frame?**_

**:Shifty eyes: No...?**

_Next! Me?_

**Sure.**

_:Ahem: "Do you think coconuts are migratory?"_

_**Great. Now Padfoot's going to go all 'Monty Python' on us. Great question, Moony. :Frowns:**_

_Hey! I didn't choose it! Blame the person who came up with it!_

**But they could be carried by a swallow!**

_Great. Let's just leave this one, okay?_

_Sounds good to me. Black... Are you still on the verge of sanity?_

**:Shakes head: NEXT QUESTION'S MINE!**

_**Fine. Okay. Go on, hurry up pound dog.**_

**I am not a pound dog, Prongs. I am a well-bred animagus.**

_**You're a mutt. Happy? Now, hurry up with the question.**_

**:Mutter: Whatever, Jim-Jim. :Cough: "Why did the turkey cross the road?"**

_To fill in for the chicken?_

**Mmmm... chicken...**

_**:Snaps fingers: I think he's out. LOOK! SNAPE'S HAIR IS ACTUALLY WASHED!**_

**What? It is? Hey! You tricked me. :Pout:**

_**:Shrug: Imagine if Snape was here.**_

Snape::Enters:

_**This is not good...**_

Snape::Glares: Wait... where am I? Stupid good-for-nothing marauders who don't deserve a capital...

**:Rolls eyes: Feeling the love, aren't we? Get outta here Snape, of face the business end of my wand.**

Snape::Mutter mutter::Something about stupid wand skills::Walks out the door, flashing different colours:

**:Grins: I am GOOD!**

_**Too bad we didn't interrogate him. That would've been a good idea, eh?**_

_Sure would. Now... next question._

_**This one is mine. :Clears throat: "Eight factorial to the power of eleventy, then plus pie. Square root and add finite. Times this by the space-time-continuum. What is the answer?**_

_Are we actually meant to _know_ that? Eleventy isn't a number! What number is finite, and I forgot what the space-time-continuum is._

**Sounds like you would know the answer if you had those facts Moony. That's just... freaky... :Steps away:**

_:Glares:_

**So... is it time-up yet?**

_**One more question... shout bags for who gets to answer it... One... Two... Three...**_

_BAGS!_

**BAGS!**

_BAGS!_

_**Looks like Lily gets to answer it. :Smiles::Hands over letter:**_

_Thank you. :Grins: "Remus, may I please have a shoe?"_

_A... shoe?_

_**A SHOE::Laughs hysterically:**_

**Someone wants Moony's shoe... Look's like they've never smelt it before...**

_My shoes do not smell. Not as bad as yours, Mr. I could wipe out the defensive squad when I take off my shoes!_

**Are you making a point Moony? I am offended. My shoes couldn't kill off the defensive squad!**

_**Yeah! I'd say it'd kill of a lot more than the Defensive Squad. The Navy... the soldiers...**_

**Hardy har har, Jimmy. :Glare: I am ending this. Aloha from Sirius and the Gang.**

_**It is NOT Sirius and the gang! And my name isn't Jimmy. It's James.**_

**That's what you think, Jim-Jim. :Evil grin: We are SatM!**

_SatM?_

_SatM? What are you thinking, Black?_

**That you aren't in the name, Evans. :Grin::Is hit by James: FINE. SEatM! **

Well, apparently there is team in SEatM... if you move the letters around...

_Are you kidding? There's TEAMS in that word! _

**Okay. It's settled. We're SEatM ****GOODBYE FROM SEATM! **

**Wait! That stands for Sirius, Evans and the Marauders! Why do you and Lily get to be in the title... More importantly, you.**

**:Grins: Lily's there because you punched me. I'm there because I'm the leader. ALOHA ALL::Runs:**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer:_ **_I do not own any of these characters... J.K. Rowling does. If I did, I would be in Disney Land.__ I'm sure you're starting to understand that by now. :Broad grin: Also, credit to Chitoryu12. _

**Authors note: **Okay... Crazy4tamorap: Thank you, simply. :Grin:

Now. Remember: **Sirius is in bold. **_Remus is in italics. **James is in bold italics. **While Lily is in italic underline._ Any guests will have their names written down before what they say, in a normal font.

_**Marauders Mag... 3:**_

**Welcome to the Marauders Mag, we're Captain Doggy-Beard, Moony, Evans, and Jim-Jim talk and you sit there and listen and appreciate us!**

_**You're just getting more and more of an ego, Padfoot. **_

**Aren't you proud of me?**

_Not a chance. Not no way, not no how can I be proud of an ego._

**Um. Right. Er... Hey, Jimmy, did ya leave your future-wife home this time?**

_No he did not._

**Greeeeat. :Glower:**

_I feel very high on your list of who's special... :Sarcasm:_

_**Okay... I suggest we start this. Unless there's anything else you want to say::Looks around:**_

**No girls. :Glares at Lily:**

_I'm sure you'll be very gleeful in substituting her for Snape now, won't you, Padfoot?_

**:Scowls: Fine, the gal can stay.**

_**Knew you'd come around, Padfoot. Now... I suggest we start this... as I did a few seconds ago. Unless we have any /other/ interruptions?**_

**:Stops chewing on picture frame: Just ain't no papaya... :Pouts:**

_Were you just chewing on a picture frame?_

**Er... :Shifty eyes::Hides frame: No...**

_**Okay! Let's start this! No interruptions!**_

_Why do you want to get through this so far, James?_

_**:Shrug: No reason, I guess. Just Padfoot is a lot more insane than he used to be. Just noticed.**_

_Just?_

**I am not insane! Your head isn't working! You're insane::Pouts: **

_Okay... Stop this. Let's just hurry up and start! We don't need to argue about who's insane. Black goes without saying... So let's not say._

**I really don't like you, Evans. :Eye twitch:**

_You just don't know me enough..._

**I've known you for the past seven years. I think I know you enough. :Glare: So... let's start. :Sigh:**

_Good. :Sighs: Sirius... mail call..._

**MAIL CALL::chases tail: **

_Okay... I have no idea how that helps to get the letters, Padfoot._

**Er... :Passes letters:**

_**:Rolls eyes: So, who wants to go first today?**_

_I will! Choose me::Waves hand:_

_**Er... Okay Moony. **_

_:Ahem:Cough::Clears throat: Hem hem..._

**:Screams: UMBRIDGE! BATTLE STATIONS::Hides:**

_Er... Sorry? I'll just read the letter now, I guess. "Nice work. Hey Sirius, could you turn into a wolf and kill Joe Lieberman, John Kerry, Hilary Clinton and Bill Clinton? They will bring the downfall of America!"_

**I am not a wolf! I am a... Er... some sort of wolf-like dog. :Nod:**

_**Riiiiight. Who are those people again?**_

**We wouldn't know... because our silly New Zealand writer knows nothing of America besides some of the stuff... **

_**IT'S THE WRITERS FAULT! GET HER!**_

Eternal Devil Dog: Eep. This is not good..

**TACKLE!**

Eternal Devil Dog::Ahem: Your silly tackles cannot hold me down. I played... some tackle sport... Um... forgot the name...

**:Tackles:**

Eternal Devil Dog::Grumble: Gerroffmeeee!

**:Triumphant look::Walks away:**

Eternal Devil Dog: RUUUUN!

**:Goes off to find those American people: Silly writer... Deciding to come from New Zealand... Doesn't know anything about anywhere else...**

Eternal Devil Dog: Excuse me, but I do know a little bit... We _are_ forced to do stuff in school, you know?

'_**Course we know. Now, get back to your writers duty. We're on the third page in WordPerfect and we've only answered one question. :Grumble:**_

_Okay... So, we'd better hurry up and get to the next question._

**I BAGS IT. :Coughs: "Are chipmunks cool?"**

_**Chipmunks? That sounds like a lolly...**_

_:Rolls eyes: It's kind of like a squirrel..._

**Silly squirrels. They get in my way while I'm an animagus.**

_I take a few snaps at them as a werewolf... But no chipmunks... So... I guess chipmunks are okay?_

_I like chipmunks... They're so cute._

_**They sound okay... So... are we done?**_

**:Ahem: I will be saying when we're done... WE'RE DONE! Send your questions in with your reviews... blah, blah, blah...**

_**I didn't know you knew all about the story stuff!**_

**Well, I'm part of this... the MAIN part, so, of course I know. Aloha, from SEatM! Mixed up spells teams! **

_Why do I have the strangest feeling Sirius is actually__the leader?_

'_Cause his head is big enough to substitute for all of us?_

**I heard that::Storms out:**

_**:Grins: Aloha from James, Lily and Remus. I feel special now.**_

_Same 'ere, actually! Stay tuned for another issue, all._

_**xxx**_

Sorry for the shorter chapter... At least I THINK it's shorter... not entirely sure. :Grins:


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: **Yeah... I don't own Harry Potter. JKR does. I love Disney Land, but I've never been there, and I wouldn't be wasting away my life sitting here, would I? Credit to... all those peoples questions I use in this. ._

**Authors Note: **Thanks you guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while! But I'm updating now, so... don't worry... be happy! Yay! Remember, **Sirius is in bold, **_Remus is in italics, _Lily is in italic underline, **_And James is bold italic._**

_**Marauders Mag... 4:**_

_Welcome to the Marauders Mag! Yes, this _is_ Remus introducing us! Moony, Prongs and Lily! And whoever else decides to come!_

_**Yeah... Where'd Padfoot go::Wonders:**_

_:Coughs::Flashback:_

**I'LL GET YOU, REMUS! Get me out of this closet! I want to introduce us!**

_No idea, Prongs. But I bet he'll be here soon. :Grins innocenty:_

_I'm here! Sorry I'm late! Yes, I'm here Black! Wait... where is Black?_

_I DON'T KNOW! STOP ASKING ME! I'M INNOCENT! I mean... er..._

**I swear I'll– Oh... Hi everybody. Welcome to...**

_**It's done, Padfoot. You don't need to introduce us.**_

**What? That isn't fair! I wanted to introduce us!**

_You introduced us the last three times, Black. Give someone else a go once in a while._

_**I bags next issue!**_

**:Mutters:**

_Okay! Lets get onto this! I think we have a lot of questions this time. A certain author has been..._

Eternal Devil Dog: Lily, you'll be quiet now. :Returns to seat::Continues writing:

_**I'm first. :Sighs: I do this reluctantly: Sirius. Cue... you. Yeah...**_

**MAIL CALL::Chases tail:**

_Yeah, this is getting real old. You need something new, Black._

**Yeah... Hmm... :Balances on head and swirls around::Falls over: Aaarrghhh... Okay. I'm going to return to chasing ta– OH! LOOK! IT'S A SQUIRREL::Chases it instead:**

_**... Lovely. :Ahem: Not... the Umbridge cough.**_

**:Edges nervously toward protective fort:**

"**_What is the square root of a pickle, divided by my gopher, times the speed of a flux capacitor, minus a pound of moldy cheese?_"**

_... Care to repeat that?_

_**No way.**_

_Okay... What is the square root of a pickle?_

__

_Okay then. I'll thank that person for their... lovely random questions, I guess. _

**You do that, Evans.**

_**Shut it, Black. Yeah... I'll go ask a talking calculator next time I find one...**_

**Yeah. I want to answer the next one. :Rips open envelope with teeth: Ahem. "Remus? Have you a girlfriend?" Ha ha, Moony.**

_... No?_

_**I have no idea why, but this is amusing.**_

_Why? 'Cause I said no? NO NO NO!_

_**Eh... okay, it's not funny anymore...**_

**... Good. Now, I shall continue. Ahem. "Sirius, can I have your babies?" Hey. Hold on...**

_Is it just me, or are you slow, Padfoot? _

**Of course, it's just you, Evans. And I don't know if I should answer that. oO**

_**Yeah... er... :Coughs: So, are you going to sit there and look disturbing, or are we going to keep going?**_

**The first one. :Sits:**

_That wasn't expected..._

_**Yeah... I was planning on the second one.**_

**... Did I say second? I meant first!**

_Oh good Lord! _

_:Snorts: Sirius..._

**_You _said_ first. You're meant to say second._**

**Whoops. Er...yeah... Did I say first? I meant second.**

_**Yeah... Okay.**_

**Oh, and the answer to that last one is... Um... :Coughs: Who are you, eh?**

_I vote that we just forget this... I'm answering this one! "If you do the hokey pokey, and turn yourself about, is that what it's REALLY all about?"_

**Of course it isn't. It's all about the ice cream that comes with it.**

_**I actually expected you to say that.**_

**Mmm... Hokey Pokey ice cream... It is existent in other countries, right? 'Cause the writer isn't all that smart...**

Eternal Devil Dog: I heard that.

**You _wrote_ that, mate.**

Eternal Devil Dog: ... Okay, this is too messed up. :Leaves:

**:Grins: But, yeah. It's about the hokey pokey ice cream. .**

_The rat leapt over the dog._

_**Er...**_

_Remus, I thought you were sane._

_I am... I just haven't spoken in a while. So, that's why I'm doing the next question! Ha! TAKE THAT!_

_**You've been around Sirius too long, Moony. You need a vacation.**_

_I suppose you're right... Maybe a trip to..._

**THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!**

_The ice cream truck? _

**Yeah! Look out– Oh. Another random 'not written by Sirius' moment. Sorry about that. Very distracting when ice cream comes past the writers window.**

_**I think Devil's intruding too much. **_

Devil: Fine. :Be's quiet:

_Er... yeah. I'm just going to say the question now..._

**You tell those spiders, Ron.**

_What spiders? And I'm not Ron._

**:Grins: Sorry 'bout that...**

"_What do you think of naked mole rats?"_

Devil: Fer-eaky. I was just watching Kim Possible. oO

_Yes..._

**Naked mole rats are like... Naked and stuff.**

Devil: Yeah... But Rufus is cool. .

_**I'm just going to sit here and not know of Kim Possible.. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT! **_

_So... why don't we just say that some are cool, but look rather strange 'cause they're hairless?_

_Sounds pretty good to me._

_**Yeah. Sounds good. So...**_

**THIS QUESTION'S MINE::Ahem:**

_**Unfair. I wanted this question.**_

**And you expect me to be fair?**

_I don't think anyone expects anything that involves you being sane from you, Sirius._

**... Is that a compliment?**

_**Nope.**_

**:Mutters:**

_**:Shifty eyes: Question's mine now. "Lily, why haven't you strangled one of them yet? You're too smart to hang around Sirius. His insanity might rub off on you!"**_

**Hey! I heard that! I'm not insane. Yet... :Coughs:**

_Strangle one of them? I don't strange people, plainly. But I think I may of burst their eardrums with yelling._

**Sure did, Evans. :Sighs: **

_Er... yes... but I have been close to physically strangling them once. And, yes, I believe it was Sirius... Or was it James?_

_**I'm hurt.**_

_You shouldn't be. You really got on her nerves._

_**And how do you know this, eh?**_

_Isn't it _obvious

_**Eh... Well... yeah, I guess.**_

_And there's my point._

**WHERE? WHERE? I DON'T SEE IT! Oh, there it is. On top of that power pole.**

_Eh... yeah... I sent it to the top of the power pole..._

**One more question left for now! Wow! Six pages! ... Is that a lot? **

_I dunno. To lazy to see. :Shrugs:_

**Question! "Remus, what do you find attractive in a woman?" Ah... this is just TOO obvious to answer... **

_... Er, the average stuff? _

_**S'probably different than whatever Sirius is cooking up in his mind. :Inches away from Sirius:**_

**:Grins insanely::Hugs Woodchuck:**

_Oh! Don't let that woodchuck come here again!_

**Would I do that Evans?**

_... Yes. Definitely._

**Too right. :Blabs about woodchuck tongue twisters:**

_**Er... I think we should get back to the question...**_

_Thanks for the reminder? Yeah... She should be um..._

**Good-looking. Popular...**

_Eh. I was planning on actually _kindness

**Who cares about that?**

_Me. The person who is being asked the question._

**Eh... :Mutters:**

_Yeah... And she shouldn't be–_

**Geeky. She shouldn't be geeky.**

_Er... depends on personality._

**Yes. Se–**

_:Sighs: Shut UP now Padfoot. I give up. Seeya from... us guys. And the girl._

_Er... yeah..._

_**Oo... Okay... Seeya from.. SEatM. Hey, Remus, doesn't it hurt to bang your head against the wall like that?**_

_Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow._

_No, of _course_ not. He's just saying ow for laughs._

**:Grabs microphone: SIRIUS BIDS YOU, ALOHA! REMEMBER, picture frames do taste okay.**

_I thought they didn't._

**I never said they weren't okay... I just said they weren't papaya. **

_**:Sighs: Seeya **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer;; **I don't own any of the characters here... but me. They all belong to JKR, and as much as we all wish we were swimming in money, I don't. And if you think I'm her... then you're way off, as she has some mad writing skills, and I, you know, don't._

**_Author's Note;; _Heh, sorry I haven't updated in a while. More reviews, pretty please? I've got 20, and my friend almost has 100. -Pout- I want mooooore. Isn't mine just as good? Now, here we go. Sirius is in bold. _James is in bold italics. _**_Lily is in italic underline. And Remus is in italics._

_**Marauders Mag 5;;**_

_**Guess who it iiiiissssss! Yes, it's James Potter! Introducing /you/ to Marauders Mag, where we sit here and answer questions and stuff, wasting our time from our undying boredom, and the fact we're dead.**_

_... I'm not dead!_

**No one likes you. Everyone hates you. They're all out without you, having fun.**

_How angsty... And I _have_ friends, Sirius. Who the hell are you, eh?_

**Pirates do not have friends, Moo– WAIT! I WANTED TO INTRODUCE US!**

_**We settled this last time... We're taking turns so you don't hog everything, you big... hogger.**_

_:Chokes: MOO?_

Devil::Snickers: Moomoo! Moomoo Remus! Remmy-moo-kins::Points and laughs:

_:Mutters: Why do you always have to take Sirius' side?_

Devil: I do not always take his side. I didn't take his side when he TACKLED ME.

**Sorry? Well, you were talking too much, and weren't smart enough!**

Devil: Like you knew who those people were!

**... So? I'm not meant to! **

Devil: Well, neither am I!

**Oh? Well, sorry, then.**

_**Oh my. You made him say sorry! Unbelievable! **_

**I've said sorry before!**

_Oh? When?_

**... I don't quite remember.**

_**:Rolls eyes: **_

Devil: Forgiven, Sirius. Now, let's get on with this. Where's Lily?

_**You should know. You're writing this, Devil.**_

Devil: ... Well, she's your wife!

_**Not since Sirius made us three years younger.**_

Devil: His calculations may of been incorrect.

_I wouldn't doubt that._

**Maybe Lily actually ISN'T HERE::Dances around:**

_**Do not insult my wife; You were the best man, remember!**_

**So? It isn't like she's MY wife. And she sucked the fun from everything. :Pout: No fun anymore. You've got a wife instructing you, Peter's a traitor, and Remus doesn't do any of the things I tell him to!**

'_Cause I have a mind of my own, and following you, of all people, is a mindless action, and I definitely have a mind._

**... Go be friends with Hermione.**

_Wrong era, sorry._

**Is there no time travel? We could trade you for Fred and George::Throws something at Remus:**

_:Disappears:_

Fred and George::Appear:

_**Wow! Cool! Do it again! Sparkly!**_

**... Okaaaay... Hey! It worked! Hi Fred! Hi George!**

Fred and George: ... Hiya?

**This is so cool.**

_**Didn't we come here to answer questions.**_

**Yeah, I guess. Oi, wanna help, you guys?**

Fred: None of the questions will be directed at us!

Devil: Bet you didn't expect this, eh?

_I sure didn't._

**Oh! Damn! When did you get here?**

_I've been here the whole time. Just 'cause you can't hear me doesn't mean I'm not here!_

**:Grumble: Whatever. To the questions.**

Fred and George: "James, how long have you liked Lily? BE TRUTHFUL!"

_**... Longer than you want to know?**_

**It wasn't a first sight thing, right?**

_**Fifth sight.**_

**At the least?**

_**...No. Most. :P**_

_Aww... I have no idea how to react to this..._

**Good all the same?**

George: Okay... What are you guys gonna do when you reach a Remus Question, and he isn't here to answer it?

**:Evil grin: We'll tackle that when we meet it... Next question!**

F & G: "Why?"

_Why what?_

**Why my?**

_**Oh me, oh my, oh you!**_

_What?_

**What tot?**

_**oO; Yeah... Let's continue with the next question... **_

Devil: ... I am not held responsible for any deaths of people dying laughing. Thanks.

Fred and George: "Remus, why do you hang out with James and Sirius? You know, you could have to go to the funny farm..."

_**What now?**_

**Remus hangs out with us 'cause he wants attention, and he likes to help us pass tests. And he doesn't give a damn about the funny farm; He's already been there.**

_Shouldn't Remus really answer that?_

Bright light::Shines:

_:Appears again: I WANT TO ANSWER MY– Oh, I'm here. I do not know why I hang out with 'em anymore. Maybe my sanity has slipped so much, and I'd rather be doing the pranks, rather than being the subject of them?_

**Are Fred and George still here?**

Fred and George::Are not here:

_**Sorry, Padfoot. They're gone.**_

**How sad... NEXT QUESTION! Who gets to say THIS one, then?**

_I will. You guys need to pay me back!_

**Fine then. :Pout:**

"_Remus, would you date me? I am really nice, and I like to read and learn just like you."_

**:Snickers:**

_:Blush: Erm. I'm not sure. Maaaaaaaybe._

**:Raises eyebrow: **

Roli::Barges in and steals Remus:

_:Screech: I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!_

Devil: ... Stop. Comeback. Murder. Police. :Blank voice:

_:Eyetwitch: HELP ME._

**No. :Grins: **

_Oh, two seconds. :Looks at question: And the gals name is Blizzard, Padfoot. Now, can she have your babies?_

**Is she hot?**

_God, you're shallow..._

**You're right. Maybe, Blizzard, if I was more than a make-believe character, made from a figment of JK Rowling's fabulous imagination, created purely to be a key character in a story formed by her, so my soul purpose is not to be a living, breathing being, but to be there for entertainment.**

_**... Yeeeeeeeah. **_

**Which means no, sorry. **

"_**If you walk into a room, and see a bike with two wheels, how many spaghettios can fit in my shoe?"**_

**I don't know? Don't all bikes have two wheels.**

_No, not all of them. Unicycles. There's the works. _

**Well... I guess... what size shoe do you have::Starts stuffing spaghettios in shoe:**

Devil::Pokes James: What the hell is a spaghettio?

_**Shut up, and keep acting like you know what it is... It'll work. It'll work.**_

"_If you're driving towards an intersection at 50mph, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog-house?"_

**... Depends what type of dog-house, right?**

_**Trying to fill in for Remus?**_

**Yup yup... Is it working?**

_**No way. But nice try. I guess it would– Hold on. What does an intersection have to do with pancakes, and a dog-house?**_

_And why would anyone want to cover their dog-house in pancakes, anyway?_

**Must... resist... pancakey... goodness... Mmm... Pancakes... :Drools:**

Devil: He's out, guys. All must know... Sirius is totally and utterly out of it.

**_He's dreaming about blimin' _pancakes_! He's disturbed, I tell you!_**

_:Is randomly thrown back into room: I do not like you're bloody friends._

Devil: She barely knows she even has a guest spot.

_**oO;; But... how can she do something without knowing?**_

Devil: I do not know. I really don't. Maybe 'cause I control her?

**What are you? God?**

_**He lives!**_

_Yay. :Sarcasm:_

_**You two need to get along...**_

**No. We don't. **

Devil: ... I think Roli ships Remus/Lily. :Smugness:

_oO;_

_oO; But she kidnapped me!_

Devil::Shrugs: I just think she does. Though she CLAIMS she ships Tonks/Remus.

**Er. Yay?**

Devil::Shrugs: I'm really just trying to let this go for as long as I can. Six pages is short, you know?

**I can't write a six page essay, though.**

_**Or can you?**_

**... I wouldn't know.**

_Yeah, you haven't tried!_

_**Almost seven pages!**_

**I can't write seven page essays either. I want to be smarter.**

_What a good wish. Looks like you're finally thinking better. Think he's becoming more sane?_

_Not a chance._

_**Too true.**_

**Stop iiiitttt! I was never insane! I may end up insane... But if I was insane, I would be dancing like a monkey, singing "Old McDonald had a Swoose! E I E I O!"**

_**But I saw you doing that yesterday.**_

_I'm not going to ask how you know that._

_**oO **_

**oO;;;;;;;**

**_We were _drinking**

**I didn't drink that much.**

_You guys aren't helping yourselves._

_**You're just sick. Go get stolen again.**_

Devil: This is highly disturbing...

_You're telling me!_

Devil: Remus, you were there.

_No, I wasn't._

_**Wait.. You're right. He passed out on the couch!**_

_oO No I didn't!_

**How would you know? **

_**I expect he drunk more than us.**_

_I doubt Remus would drink._

_**Remus is our friend; He does a lot of unexpected things. He got bitten by a werewolf, for heavens sake! Think of HOW he got bitten by a werewolf?**_

_Greback ran inside his house and bit him?_

**Bet he was running around after dark, when he was meant to be asleep!**

_Was not._

_**Was too.**_

Devil: Stop your stupid little fight, boys.

**I will if they will!**

_:Grumbles: Next question?_

Devil: There's no more questions, sorry, Remus.

_Oh. Dang. So it's the end?_

**That's the eeeeeennnnnnddd!**

_**I guess so.**_

**James guesses sooooo!**

Devil: Someone... sign out, or something. oO

**Devil thinks someone should sign ooouuuut!**

_**Shut up, Padfoot.**_

**James thinks I should shut uuuuuuuppppp! But I wooooon't!**

_Music Padfoot is so annoying._

**Lily thinks I'm annoying! But I don't really caaare! As you are more annoying than meeeeee!**

_**For heavens sake... This is James, Lily, Remus, Devil, and...**_

**:Spins around, sinking like a drunk person:**

_**An insane dude, signing out.**_


End file.
